Dear Mr. Gecko,
We need to talk! Our relationship is over. I am tired of you leaping out of cabinets onto me. I am tired of you falling from the ceiling onto my head. I am tired of squishing you under the handrail. Please stay out of my mailbox. I get enough surprises from the electric bill. Don't hang around my ac units and think it's funny to be blown out when I turn it on. It's not funny. You think it's so cute to hide in my kitchen sink and surprise me while I'm washing dishes, it's not. I hear you chirp at night while I'm trying to sleep. It bothers me. I know you're there scheming your next practical joke. And stay out of my car, I'm not a taxi! Please...we have one more year to put up with one another. Find the decency in your heart to leave me alone!
Your roommate,
Kim
p.s. Thank you for eating all the spiders. Oh, and sorry about your buddy. Hiding in the toaster wasn't the best idea. You owe me a new toaster.
